Twenty-Two Hours Post-ECT

October 21st, five AM, twenty-two hours Post-ECT:

Yesterday, I had my first ECT treatment (electroconvulsive therapy, AKA shock-treatment). I’m surprised how much my body hurts when I was paralyzed for the seizure, but lactic acid still builds up, I suppose. My throat is what is bothering me the most. Swallowing is pretty painful, and it’s annoying. Taking a deep breath already hurts because my gallbladder needs to come out, but it hurts all of my muscles now to move, breathe, swallow, chew, etc. 

I got some heavy-duty doses of medications while undergoing shock treatment—I wish I could have it filmed so I can see exactly what happens to me when I do it. Regardless, I’ve witnessed electroconvulsive therapy done to others, so I “know” what happens. I just thought it’d be a terrific little keepsake lol. 

The shocking report of what drugs I was medicated with and what they mean: 

-Etomidate (Amidate) 26 mg: the anesthetic that knocked me tf out — it also preserves seizure quality better than other anesthetics, and burns like a mf-er. 

-Succinylcholine (Quelicin) 160 mg: the muscle relaxant that prevents full-body convulsions during the seizure, because broken bones are no fun. It also prevents you from breathing because, duh, you’re paralyzed. 

-Glycopyrrolate (Robinul) 0.2 mg: reduces saliva and helps prevent your heart rate from dropping too low during anesthesia. Despite being given this, I still needed my throat suctioned, and I surprised the nurse that I was very much aware of the feeling of not being able to breathe because of the secretion build-up in my throat. I was still mostly paralyzed when the feeling of not being able to breathe came over me, and I couldn’t speak yet, so I panicked and moaned and thrashed my head to get the RN’s attention, which leads me to the next drug I got…

-Midazolam (Versed) 2 mg (afterwards): given to calm post-ECT restlessness or agitation — in my case, I was restless, and it helped. Although I’m pretty sure I was restless BECAUSE I COULDN’T BREATHE. Either way, this benzodiazepine really helped take the edge off of suffocation and knocked me tf out… again.